I don't even know where to start with this. I mean, it's just... I just feel so broken sometimes. Like, I’m at uni, right? And everyone here is just pairing off, getting together, going on dates, hooking up, whatever. And I just don't get it. I don't feel it. I can sit in a room with someone and have the most amazing conversation, like, we're talking about philosophy or literature or history or even just stupid memes for hours, and I feel completely connected to them. Like, intellectually, it's just *there*. And then... nothing. The idea of, like, actually *touching* them? Or them touching me? It just doesn't compute. It's not disgust or anything, not really. It's just... dead air. Like the wires aren't even connected. And I look at my friends, and they're all talking about crushes and how hot someone is and I'm just sitting there smiling and nodding because I don't have anything to add. And it's not like I don't get compliments. I do. People say I'm cute or whatever. But it just… bounces off. I mean, I don't even— whatever. It's just exhausting pretending I understand when everyone else is feeling it so intensely. And I know, I know why some of it is. Like, I'm literally living a whole other life outside of uni. When I'm not in classes, I'm home, cooking, cleaning, making sure my dad takes his meds, driving my sister to her appointments because mom works two jobs just to keep us afloat. I’m the one who makes sure rent gets paid on time, that there’s food in the fridge. My whole identity is just… *doing* things for other people. Being responsible. And maybe that's why. Maybe I just don't have the space in my head for anything else. But it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. Before I was even taking care of them. So maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just… wrong.