Okay this is STUPID but I can't be the only one who does this right? Like, we’re all just out here faking it ‘til we make it, pretending we're these fully functional, always-on machines, when really, half the time we’re a walking panic attack waiting to happen. I just… I cancelled a second date. With someone really great, actually. She’s smart, laughs at my dumb jokes, even thought my chipped front tooth was “charming.” Normally I'd be all over that. Usually I’m the one pushing for the next thing, the next date, the next whatever. But this time? Nope. Couldn’t do it. And the reason is SO embarrassing. It’s my job. I’m a construction worker. Big, burly, tough guy image, you know? And yeah, 99% of the time, I’m good. I lift heavy things, I operate machinery, I build stuff. But every now and then, maybe once a month, twice if I’m really stressed out, I just… can’t. My hands shake, I get this weird brain fog, and I just freeze. My foreman calls it a “wobbly moment,” like it’s some cute little thing, but it’s more than that. It’s terrifying. It’s like my body forgets how to do the one thing I’m supposed to be good at. And I know it’s temporary, I know it passes, but what if she saw it? What if we were building some IKEA furniture together and I just… broke down? Or what if she came to a site, just to bring me coffee or something, and I had one of those moments? The thought of her seeing me like that, seeing me less than, seeing me fall apart, makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s not even just the job stuff, it’s everything. It's the pressure to always be "on," always be the strong one, always have it together. Who are we, really, when we strip away the performance? Are we just a collection of our worst fears and insecurities, barely held together by duct tape and caffeine? Or is there something real underneath? I don’t know. I just feel like I'm trying to hold up this whole DAMN façade and it's getting heavier every day. Anyone else ever feel like if someone actually saw the raw, exposed version of you, they'd just… laugh? Or worse, be disappointed? Am I just insane?