Okay this is gonna sound super messed up and like, probably totally stupid but I just have to say it somewhere because it’s eating me alive. I’m a yoga teacher. Like, my whole *thing* is being all zen and bendy and helping people find their inner peace and whatever. I’m 47, which isn’t even old, right? But my body is like… giving up. Like actually giving up. My knees crack when I do warrior two and my hips are so stiff sometimes I can barely get into a pigeon pose without looking like I’m gonna cry. And the balance stuff? Forget about it. Tree pose? More like wobbly oak about to fall over. It’s EMBARRASSING. I literally teach people how to do this stuff, like it's my JOB. And I can’t even do it myself anymore, not really. And it’s not just the moves, it’s everything. I’m always hurting. My back aches after teaching, my wrists feel like they’re full of sand. I try to pretend it’s fine, you know? Like, I just tell people to listen to their bodies and modify and stuff, which is what you’re supposed to say. But secretly I’m thinking, “Yeah, my body is telling me to just lay down and never move again.” And like, I can’t tell anyone. My students? They look up to me, they think I’m all graceful and strong. My friends? Most of them are yoga teachers too, or at least super fit. They’d think I was a total fraud. Is that weird? Does everyone feel like a fraud sometimes? I just… I can’t afford to stop. This is how I make money. I don’t have like, a steady paycheck or health insurance or anything. It’s all freelance, class to class, private sessions here and there. If I can’t do the poses, if I can’t show up and be the "zen queen" everyone expects, then what? What am I even good for? My body is literally my livelihood and it's just… failing. And I feel so much SHAME about it. Like it’s my fault. Like I did something wrong. Even though I didn’t. Or maybe I did? I don't know. It’s just getting harder and harder to pretend like everything is fine, and I just… I don’t know what to do.