i teach yoga i have for like twenty years now basically my entire adult life and i mean i love it i really do i help people find their bodies and their breath and all that really good stuff but lately its just... different. its hard. like im 47 and suddenly im the stiffest person in the room which is INSANE when youre the one leading the class you know and trying to pretend like your pigeon pose isnt screaming at you while you tell everyone to sink deeper into it. the irony is just GAGGING me sometimes honestly. i used to be able to just fold right into things like nothing no warm up no nothing and now its like my hips have decided they are a permanent fixture. my knees too. everything just feels like its made of concrete. i mean i dont even— like i look at the younger instructors so lithe and bendy and i remember being like that and now its like my body is playing a cruel joke on me. i can still do the poses sure but the GRACE is gone. the ease. sometimes i feel like im just muscling through it and i know people can see it. they dont say anything of course because everyone is too polite but i can see it in their eyes that little flicker of surprise or pity like oh the old lady cant quite get there anymore. and im not even old not REALLY but my body feels like it signed up for the senior citizen discount without asking me first. my balance is off too sometimes especially in standing poses like tree or eagle it just feels... wobbly. like the ground isnt quite there underneath me and i used to be so steady. rock solid. i dont know what to do. i mean this is my life my livelihood and i cant just stop. its who i am. but how do you teach something that your own body is fighting you on every single day. its embarrassing sometimes to be honest. to tell someone to lengthen through their spine when mine feels like its trying to compress itself into a tiny little ball. its a weird sort of disconnect like my brain knows exactly what to do but my body is just like nah girl we're gonna do this differently today. and i cant make it listen. it just does its own thing now. its frustrating and sad and sometimes i just want to scream. but then i remember im supposed to be the calm one so i just smile and breathe and pretend everything is fine. but its not. its really not.