I’m a yoga teacher and I teach like… like 15 classes a week and have for years and years and now my balance is just GONE. Like I almost fell out of tree pose today and I just laughed it off and made a joke about it and my students all laughed but I wanted to cry. And my knees just ache all the time and my wrists too and it just makes everything harder and I feel so old and like a fraud. Is that weird to feel like a fraud? Like I’m supposed to be this example of strength and grace and I just feel stiff and creaky and can barely get through a sun salutation without my knees popping and clicking and it’s EMBARRASSING. And it’s probably because my mom passed away a few months ago and I was taking care of her for so long and she needed so much and I just kinda stopped doing everything else and now she’s gone and I don’t know what to do with myself and I’m sad and relieved at the same time and that makes me feel like a horrible person. And I just feel empty and like I’m floating and my kids are grown and they have their own lives and I just feel lost and maybe that’s why my balance is off? Like literally and figuratively? But I can’t tell anyone that because I’m the strong one and I’m the one who teaches everyone else to find their center. I don’t know. I just feel broken and like I can’t do the one thing I’m good at anymore. And I keep thinking about how much I used to love teaching and now it’s just this… this thing I do and it hurts and it’s hard and I just want to lie down and not get up but I have another class tomorrow at 6 AM and I have to go teach it and pretend everything is fine and I’m still a yoga goddess or whatever. I just hope nobody notices how much I’m struggling.