I seen it back in March. Just a tiny yellow circle like a tea stain on the white... it looked like a tired eye watching me from the corner of the ceiling. I shoulda done something then but my stomach gets all tight like a knotted rope whenever I think about money. We already skip meals some weeks just to keep the lights on and seeing that spot felt like a monster under the bed but real. I just moved the couch a little bit so I didnt have to look up when I was eating my cereal... pretending like if I couldn't see it then the house wasn't crying. The rain kept coming down hard last month and the spot got soft. It started to sag down like a belly... heavy and grey and smelling like the basement at my grams house where things go to rot. Every time I walked under it I held my breath cause it felt like the house was gonna swallow me whole. I kept telling myself it was fine and maybe it would just dry out if I ignored it long enough. If you dont look at a problem it isnt there right... but the wallpaper started peeling back like dead skin and the air in the living room felt heavy and wet like a used towel. Then two nights ago it finally gave up. I was sitting there in the dark trying to find extra shifts on my phone and there was this loud RIP sound... like someone tearing a wet bedsheet right down the middle. A big chunk of the plaster just hit the floor with a wet THUD and all this black nasty water came splashing down. It smelled like old pennies and dirt. I just sat there looking at the hole... seeing the wood ribs of the house and the insulation looking like pink cotton candy that got dragged through a gutter. I felt so small then... like a little kid wearing my dads boots and tripping over the toes. I had to call the guy today. He looked at me and then at the hole and he did this thing with his mouth where he sucked his teeth and shook his head. He said if I called him a month ago it woulda been fifty bucks for a quick patch but now its gonna be HUNDREDS cause the wood is all soft and gross. I wanted to crawl inside the wall and stay there. I just nodded and felt the heat in my face... that hot itchy feeling when you know you messed up and everyone can see it. He thinks I’m just some dumb kid who don’t know nothing and I guess he’s right. Now there is just a plastic sheet taped up there and it flutters when the wind blows through the cracks. It sounds like a ghost whispering about how much of a screw up I am... every time I hear it I remember the grocery money is gone now for the next month and it’s all my fault. I’m sitting on the floor in the kitchen cause I’m scared to go back in there and look at it. My hands are shaking and they look so thin... like they can't hold onto nothing. I keep thinking about that tiny yellow spot and how I let it turn into a grave.