I really shouldn't be posting this. It's not a big deal but... I feel sick. Like actually sick. My stomach hurts when I think about it. I got three weeks, no, two weeks and six days until I gotta hand in that big paper. The one for my degree. The big one. PhD. Everyone is so proud. My mom calls like every other day asking about it, telling me how good I am. How my dad would be proud. My kids too, they think I'm so smart. And I'm sitting here. Blank screen. Nothing. For like a month, maybe more, I just... played video games. All those hours. Just sitting there. For hours. Pretending I was someone else, doing something else. It was stupid. I know it was stupid. But it felt good at the time. Better than looking at that blank screen. Better than thinking about all the words I needed to write. All the research. All the smart stuff I'm supposed to know. Now it's not good. Now it’s BAD. I think about my mom's face if she knew. My dad... he’d be so disappointed. He came here so I could have better. Not so I could play pretend. I don't know what to do. I have nothing. It’s like I forgot everything. My brain is just mush from those stupid games. I don’t even like them that much. It was just easier. Easier than trying. And now it’s too late. It’s too late and I wasted it. My whole life... all those years working... for this. To just sit here and feel sick. What am I gonna tell them. What am I gonna say. I don’t even wanna think about it. It makes me wanna throw up.