I just… I feel like such a freak for this. Like, everybody else is always talking about how happy they are when they finish stuff. Like, finally get that thing DONE. But I just… don’t. I finally defended my dissertation today, right? Like, after YEARS of this stupid thing. It was like… my whole life. My ENTIRE life. All I did was read and write and research and drink coffee and freak out. I barely slept, I ate like crap, I never saw my friends… it was all about this one thing. This paper. This degree. And now it’s over. It’s DONE. They said I passed, I got my degree, whatever. And I should be, like, jumping for joy, right? Screaming from the rooftops, doing a stupid little dance, posting all over my stories. But I just… didn’t. I got home and just stared at all the books. My whole research library, all these boxes of notes, all the stupid little Post-its everywhere. I started packing it up, just putting it all away into storage bins, and it was just… nothing. Like, totally blank inside. No relief, no happiness, not even tired anymore. Just… flat. Empty. It’s just so weird, and I feel so guilty for it. Like, all that work… all that time… and for what? Just to feel nothing? Is that supposed to happen? I see all these other people, like, getting their big jobs, moving away, celebrating. And I’m just here, packing up these dumb books, wondering what I even did all that for. What’s next? Probably just another gig, another scramble for rent. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now. It’s like, the world was so small and focused for so long, and now it’s just… HUGE. And I’m still just… here. Sitting on the floor with boxes. Feeling nothing. God, I sound like such a loser.