i just did the thing you're not supposed to do i ended it with someone good and it feels like a fever breaking a cold sweat that leaves you shivering but also light like a balloon cut loose he was kind always kind in that quiet steady way that felt like a thick blanket on a perpetually cold night and i knew it was good the kind of good everyone tells you to hold onto but i kept feeling this itch under my skin like i was wearing clothes that didn't fit anymore every time he’d say 'we' or 'our future' it felt like a door slamming shut not opening and i’d just smile and nod my stomach tightening into a hard little knot we went to that diner on main street the one with the cracked vinyl seats and the coffee that tasted like burnt sugar and i just said it the words felt flat and hollow like cheap bricks hitting a soft surface and he looked at me with those wide unblinking eyes and i swear i could see the exact moment the light went out behind them his shoulders slumped like someone had cut the strings to a puppet and he just said 'okay' that was it just 'okay' no argument no pleading not even a real question and what’s wrong with me because i felt nothing no regret no sadness just this vast emptiness that should have been pain but it wasn't it was just space like a cleared out room where all the furniture used to be and i keep waiting for the hammer to drop for the heartbreak to hit but it just doesn’t and i feel like a monster a real cold-blooded one because everyone says you'll regret letting go of a good man and i just...