i am sitting on the toilet right now with my feet pulled up so nobody sees my sneakers under the stall door... i feel like such a fool even putting this out there but i have to get it out... i am 51 years old and im literally hiding in the basement bathroom of the library crying like a little kid... i thought going back to school would be GOOD for me but right now i just feel like i am way out of my depth and everyone knows it... we had our big review session today and professor vance just totally laid into me about my project... he told me it was sloppy and that i wasnt being RIGOROUS enough... he said it in front of the whole class and i could see all the younger kids looking at their desks bc they felt bad for me or maybe they were laughing idk... i just felt my face get so RED and i just wanted to disappear right into the floor... i didnt even defend myself i just sat there like a dummy... i keep thinking about my son and how he told me he was proud of me for going back but if he saw me now he would be so embarrassed... i am supposed to be the adult who has her life together and instead i am a mess over some stupid paper... and my dad called three times while i was in there and he probably needs help with his meds again and i cant even take care of myself let alone him... i feel like i am just playing dress up as a student and everyone can see right through it... someone just came into the bathroom and i had to hold my breath so they wouldnt hear me sniffing... i am so scared they will see my shoes and know it is me... the girl was humming some song and she sounds so happy and young and i just feel like a total ghost...