i just wanna scream like seriously actually just let out this HUGE scream but i cant cuz im in the library and people are like SHHHH and im hiding in this cubicle in the back like the ones that are kinda broken and chipped like no one wants them and i picked it on purpose cuz i just wanted to disappear you know? like just blend into the wall or somethin and my eyes are burning cuz i was crying just now like just a minute ago but i stopped cuz i heard footsteps and i cant let anyone see me like this NO WAY especially not after what just happened in my math class i totally bombed the midterm. like utterly absolutely completely failed. i thought i understood it i really did i studied with Maria all week and she kept saying "you got this" and i practiced all the problems and i felt good when i walked in but then the paper landed on my desk and it was like all the numbers just swam around and i couldnt even read the questions it was like a blur. my brain just went totally blank. and everyone else was just writing writing writing like their pens were flying across the paper and i just sat there staring at the first question for like ten minutes like my heart was gonna explode. and my hands got sweaty and then i remembered how my mom was like "this is important for college" and my dad was like "you better not mess this up" and all that pressure just kinda crushed me. i tried to answer some stuff i just picked random formulas that kinda looked right but i knew it was wrong i just knew it in my gut and then i saw mr. henderson kinda lookin at me from across the room and he always gives me that look like he KNOWS when im struggling like he can see right through me and that just made it worse. so i just scribbled some stuff and turned it in early like five minutes before everyone else and i just walked out and i felt like a ghost or somethin like no one even saw me leave and i just kept walking until i got here to the library and i found this stupid cubicle and i just sat down and tried not to cry. but then my phone buzzed and it was the grade. an F. AN F. i cant believe it. i worked so hard for this. i stayed up late like every night. i drank so much coffee i thought my stomach was gonna explode. and for what? for this. for an F. and now im stuck here in this cubicle trying to like suck the tears back into my eyeballs before anyone notices and im so ashamed. like what if Maria finds out? what if my parents find out? they’re gonna be so mad. they’re gonna be so disappointed. and i just feel so stupid like im not smart enough for this. for anything. everyone else just gets it. everyone else can just do it. but me? im just here hiding in a dusty cubicle trying to stop my face from leaking cuz if someone sees me like this if someone sees me cryin after a stupid test then it’s like proof right? it’s like proof that im not strong enough or something. that im a baby. that im weak. and i cant let them see that. i just cant.