I don't know if this even counts as a confession, it’s not like I hurt anyone physically or anything but I just feel so bad and I can't stop thinking about it and I just need to get it out I guess. It’s been bothering me for days now and I just keep going over it in my head. My dad, he's been quadriplegic for over twenty years now, ever since his accident, and I've been living with him and looking after him, basically since it happened, and it’s fine, it really is, but it’s a lot, you know? And I’m not complaining, really, he’s my dad and I love him very much, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything, but some days are just… heavy. He needs help with everything, just everything, and even though we have carers coming in a few times a week, most of it falls on me, and it’s just exhausting sometimes and I don't know, it just builds up inside. So anyway, I was at work the other day, at the gallery, and I was trying to put up this new exhibit, and it’s a big one, a lot of pieces and the lighting had to be just right for each one and I was already behind because I had to get Dad settled that morning and he had a bit of a rough night, so I was already tired and just feeling stretched thin. And I was trying to hang this one painting, it was a really delicate watercolour, and it just wouldn't sit straight, and I was up on the ladder and my arms were aching and I just wanted to get it done. And then Melanie, she’s one of the younger assistants, and she's very sweet usually, but she came over and she just started telling me about her weekend, like, in detail, about her new yoga class and her organic juice cleanse, and how invigorating it all was, and it just felt so… trivial, I guess. And I know it’s not her fault, she didn't know how I was feeling, but I just, I couldn't take it, and I just snapped at her. I remember I just turned to her and I said, really sharp, "Melanie, I am trying to work here. Can you PLEASE just be quiet for five minutes?" And my voice was all tight and high, and she just froze, and her eyes got really wide and she just mumbled "Oh, sorry," and then she just walked away really quickly and I saw her later and she was avoiding me, like, really obviously. And I felt it immediately, the guilt, it just washed over me. Because it wasn't her fault, at all. She was just being herself, and she’s a good kid, she really is, and I just took everything out on her, all that exhaustion and frustration and just… everything from home, and I just let it spill over onto her, and it was so unfair. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I went to apologize to her the next day but she was off and I just keep replaying it and thinking about her face. I think maybe it’s because I used to be an artist, you know? Like, a real one, before everything happened. I went to art school and I had dreams, big ones, and I painted every day and I felt like I was going to change the world with my art, or at least just express something important. And now I just hang other people’s art and I don't have the time or the energy to make my own anymore and sometimes I just feel like that part of me is just… gone. And I get this resentment sometimes, this little flicker, and I know it’s wrong, because it’s no one’s fault and I love my dad, but it just… it’s there. And I feel like such a terrible person for snapping at Melanie, because she’s just starting out, and she has all these dreams, and I just shut her down. I should have been kinder. I should have just taken a deep breath. But I couldn't. It just came out. And now I just feel like I'm becoming this bitter old woman and I don't want to be that person. I really don't. I don't know what to do about it. How do you even fix something like that? How do you stop yourself from just… crumbling under the weight of everything and lashing out at someone who doesn't deserve it? I just feel so lost, and so guilty, and I just keep thinking about her face, and how shocked she looked, and it just makes my stomach hurt. I just wanted to disappear, honestly.