I feel like such a jerk, honestly. My mom, like, she’s been getting older, you know? And everyone always says that, like, “Oh, my mom’s getting older,” but it’s different when it’s YOUR mom and she’s actually… like, really getting older. And I haven’t been there for it. Not really. I retired, right? And I had this whole plan to move, like, somewhere totally different. Away from the suburbs, away from the commute, away from all the neighborhood drama with the HOA and whose lawn is perfectly manicured, you know? So I did it. I moved to another country. Which sounds super glamorous, I guess, and it IS pretty cool, like the food and the pace is totally different. But then I get these calls from my sister, and she’s like, “Mom fell again,” or “She’s forgetting stuff,” and my gut just… twists. It’s like, I WANTED this. I worked my whole life for this, to finally just… relax. To not be constantly on, like, academic mode, always chasing grants and publishing and all that. And I genuinely love it here, it’s beautiful and peaceful and I can just… BE. But then I think about her, back in the same house she’s lived in forever, and she’s probably looking out the window at Mrs. Henderson’s prize-winning roses or whatever, and she’s alone. And I’m here, you know? Thousands of miles away, drinking fancy coffee and pretending I understand the local news. And I just feel this GUILT. Like, a punch to the stomach kind of guilt. And the worst part is, sometimes I just laugh about it. Not because it’s funny, obviously, but because what else am I supposed to do? Like, I made my bed, right? I picked this life. And now I’m getting emails about getting a ramp installed for her front porch, and I’m just… here. It’s so messed up. Like, “Congratulations on your freedom, you abandoned your mother.” Not that anyone would ever SAY that, of course, because everyone’s all about “following your dreams” and whatever. But sometimes, late at night, I just think about her, and it's like, I totally dropped the ball. And there’s no going back now, like, I can’t just pack up and move back. So it’s just… this. This feeling. All the time.