I just… I fucking teach people how to breathe, how to fuel their bodies, how to be "vibrant" and "optimized." And then I’m in my car, windows up, AC blasting, driving God knows where just to sneak a goddamn cigarette before I pull into my driveway. The smell clings, even if I spray half a bottle of Febreze. The fear of one of my clients—or worse, a fellow instructor, a NEIGHBOR—seeing me, it’s a constant low hum, an almost physical pressure behind my eyes. What a goddamn joke.