I know this is probably stupid, but I just need to say it. My husband's dad died a few months ago. He was 68, a farmer. My husband grew up on that farm. It’s all he talks about, how hard his dad worked, how he kept things going. My husband had to take over everything. It’s just us and the baby. I stay home. All day. Every day. And I know it's not a big deal, but I keep thinking about his dad. The farmer. The one who walked his land every morning. I feel really bad even typing this. He was a good man, everyone says so. But I think about him walking his land, the sun coming up. And I think about his wife, my husband's mom. She died a few years back. So he was alone for a bit, then he was gone. But at least he had that. The walking. The land. Something that was HIS, you know? Something that didn’t revolve around someone else. Just him, his thoughts, his farm. And it sounds so dumb, but I’m just stuck here. All day. With the baby. And I love my baby, I do. But sometimes I just want to walk my own land. Or something. Anything that isn’t this house. This life. I feel guilty even saying that. My husband works so hard. But sometimes I just want to… not be here. Not be me. Not be just "mom" or "wife". I just want to walk. And not have anyone need anything from me. It's so stupid.