i always make fun of myself but this time it’s really bad and i feel so gross about it cause my partner will be like "hey can we talk about… you know… moving in together" or "how are you feeling about… everything" and i just totally change the subject to like my gig work, or what i’m coding, or some tech thing and like, it’s not because i don’t care or whatever, it’s just… i don’t know. it’s because i’m a total chicken. and i do it EVERY time. and they probably think i’m a HUGE jerk… I AM a huge jerk.