Okay so here’s the thing, and I know it's bad, but my mom needs help, like real help, an aide you know, and I looked into it, the costs were... well, A LOT, and I just... I saw this art retreat, this amazing painting workshop in Tuscany, I mean, the light there, you can’t imagine, and it was my dream, always, since I was a kid sketching in my grandma's garden, and I went. I went! Used the money. Now I'm back, and my paintings are... I mean, they're good, really good, but Mom's still here, struggling, and I just keep thinking about that light, and the guilt, it’s like a lead weight, just... sitting there.