Okay so I usually just lurk on these things, like, I don't really post, but I'm just sitting here and it's 2am and I can't sleep and my canvas is just staring at me, you know? Like, it's totally blank and I usually just... get it, I know what I'm doing and I can just start, but for weeks now it's just EMPTY. And I have commissions due and everything and it's like my brain just stopped working or something. And I keep telling myself it's fine, it's just a creative block or whatever, but it feels different this time. It feels... bigger. Like, I’m 48, I’ve been doing this forever and I’ve had blocks before, but I always got through them. This just feels like... like I’m broken. It's probably cuz Mom just moved into the place, you know? Like, after all this time, she's finally... settled. And it's good, it's really good, she needed the care and I was just doing EVERYTHING for her, and the kids are grown and out of the house, so it should be easy now, right? Like, I have all this FREE time and space to just... create. But instead, it's like my whole studio is just full of silence, and it’s not the good kind. It’s the kind that just echoes and makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong just by sitting there. And it’s not like I don’t love my mom, I do, SO MUCH, but it was just so much work for so long, and now it’s gone and I don’t know what to do with myself. Like I lost my purpose or something. And I know this probably sounds stupid, like oh boo hoo you finally have time for your art, but it’s not like that. It’s like my well just dried up or something. And I have to keep going, cuz it’s my job, you know? It’s not just a hobby. And if I don’t produce, then what? Like, what do you even tell clients? "Oh, my muse moved into a nice assisted living facility and now I'm just... dead inside?" Ha. And I can’t even tell my husband this, he’d just tell me to relax and take a break, but a break isn’t gonna fill the canvas. I just need to... get it back. But how? Like, how do you even start when you feel this empty? And what if I don’t ever get it back? That's the scariest part.