I'm sitting here and it's 2am and the sink is overflowing with dishes and I'm just staring at them and my brain seems to have completely ceased its executive function capability but also it’s running at a hundred miles an hour cataloging everything I need to do tomorrow for work and for the hospital and for my mother but the physical act of standing up and walking to the sink feels like an insurmountable barrier and I genuinely don’t understand this paralysis this complete lack of kinetic energy and I’m almost clinically observing it like a symptom of something I can’t quite diagnose and I feel this profound sense of failure, not just for the dishes but for everything.