this is probably stupid but it’s late and my fridge is just… so quiet. used to be all clatter and smells. my granddaughter, she's 35 now, made herself some kind of noodle dish tonight. just for her. the big pot, barely used. and all I could think was how I missed so much of that, the real stuff, because I was always running, chasing that next thing, always thinking there’d be more time for… this. now the phone doesn't ring at 8am, no emergencies, and it’s just me and this feeling like I really messed up, left her with… less.