Why do I avoid expressing sadness to my partner?

Many people hold back tears or hide their sadness from loved ones, often due to beliefs formed early in life about showing vulnerability. This might stem from past experiences where expressing strong emotions felt unwelcome, or from societal messages that link sadness to weakness. It's a common, protective instinct to try and manage difficult feelings alone, even with someone you trust deeply.

Research suggests that over 60% of adults report difficulty expressing vulnerable emotions, like sadness, to their romantic partners.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who avoids expressing sadness to my partner?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone avoid expressing sadness to their partner?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to avoid expressing sadness to your partner?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to try and avoid expressing sadness to your partner?

Is It Weird?

Real stories from the community

and my dad’s got me helping him cause he says it’s 'building character' which mostly means lifting heavy stuff and getting splinters. …

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My dad works construction, like, hard hat and everything, and he always says I need to learn to be tough, you know? …

crying shame

My whole body feels heavy, like someone poured cement in my veins or something. …

crying shame

You know that feeling when the sheer weight of expectation presses down on you, so dense it feels physical, like a lead blanket thrown over your head? …

crying shame

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it bad to hide sadness from my partner?▾
While it's a natural coping mechanism, consistently hiding your sadness can create distance in a relationship over time. Openness, when you're ready, can strengthen connection and intimacy.
Why do I feel ashamed to cry in front of my partner?▾
Feeling ashamed to cry, sometimes called 'crying shame,' often comes from past experiences where tears were met with discomfort, criticism, or a sense of being a burden. These past lessons can make vulnerability feel risky.
How can I start to show more emotion to my partner?▾
Starting small can help. You might begin by sharing a milder feeling of disappointment or frustration, and observing their reaction. Gradually, as trust builds around these smaller expressions, it can become easier to share deeper sadness.

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