okay so this is stupid. like, really really stupid. but you know how sometimes you do something and it’s not even a big deal, like, objectively it’s nothing, but it just HITS you, you know? and then you’re just standing there feeling like the dumbest person alive. so today, this happened. we were working on rebuilding old man Peterson’s fence cause that crazy storm last week took out like half of it, and everyone in town kinda helps out when stuff like that happens cause that’s just how it is around here, everyone knows everyone, right? and my dad’s got me helping him cause he says it’s 'building character' which mostly means lifting heavy stuff and getting splinters. and I’m supposed to be like, supervising, I guess? cause I’ve helped him before and I know how to do the posts and stuff. and we were putting up this one section and it was kinda tricky cause the ground was all uneven and I told Jimmy, he’s one of the other guys, to hold it a certain way, but then I messed up the measurement, just a little bit, like half an inch, but it was enough to make the whole thing wobble. and the post fell, not even on anyone, just fell. and everyone kinda stopped and looked, and it wasn’t even a big crash, just a thud, but in my head it was like a HUGE explosion. and I just felt so DUMB. like, so completely incompetent. cause I’m supposed to be the one who knows what I’m doing, and dad kinda relies on me to keep things moving. and I just felt this rush of, like, heat in my face, and my eyes started to sting. you know that feeling when you just want the ground to swallow you up? yeah, that. so I pretended I had to go get something from the truck, which was parked like a hundred yards away, and I ducked behind Mr. Henderson’s old trailer that’s just sitting there rusting. and I just kinda wiped my eyes real quick. like, really fast, hoping nobody saw. cause it’s not like I was crying, not really, just, like, watery. cause what kind of foreman, even a fake one like me, cries over a wobbly fence post? it’s just so embarrassing. and I know it’s not a big deal, like I said, nobody even really cared, they just kinda grumbled and picked the post back up. but in my head it was like I failed this HUGE test. and now they all probably think I’m just some dumb kid who can’t do anything right. and I had to just stand there for a minute, breathing deep, making sure my eyes weren't red, before I could go back and pretend like nothing happened. it’s just… some days it just feels like everything is too much. even a stupid fence post.