I just messed up SO bad. Like, really really bad. I was on a gig today, big job, helping this dude put up a fence, and I was supposed to be like, supervising, right? Like I was the foreman or whatever, even though I'm just… me. And something went wrong, I dunno, a measurement or something got messed up and a whole section just kinda… wobbled. It didn't fall down all the way but it looked like CRAP. And everyone just stopped and looked at me. My stomach dropped to my feet, I swear. I had to duck behind this big ass trailer, pretending I was looking for a tool or something. My eyes started watering, like a lot. And I’m just standing there, trying to wipe my face on my sleeve, praying nobody saw. Because if they think I can’t handle it, if they think I’m gonna cry over a stupid fence… I’m done. My rep is ruined. Nobody’s gonna call me for anything ever again. This whole week was supposed to be booked, I need the cash for rent for my share of the room with Mikey, and if this goes sideways, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. I can’t tell my mom because she’ll just say “I told you so” about school. It’s just… I’m so TIRED of pretending to know what I’m doing. Everyone just expects me to be this tough guy who knows everything and can fix anything. But I’m just faking it till I make it, and today, I almost didn't. I almost broke. I just want to disappear sometimes, you know? Like, just not show up. But I can't. I can't. My crew, even if they're not *my* crew really, they'll hate me. They'll know I'm just a kid playing dress-up. I really hope my eyes weren't too red when I came back out. God.