Why do I avoid people who have things I want?

This feeling often stems from a hidden sense of jealousy or inadequacy. When someone possesses something we desire – whether it's career success, personal qualities, or material possessions – it can trigger uncomfortable emotions within us. Instead of feeling inspired, we might feel diminished, leading us to distance ourselves as a way to cope with these difficult feelings.

Research from the University of California, San Diego, indicates that social comparison, a common trigger for jealousy, is a near-universal human tendency.

See other perspectives

Real stories from the community

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to feel jealous of others' success?
Yes, experiencing jealousy, especially regarding others' achievements or possessions, is a very common human emotion. It's how we interpret and respond to that jealousy that truly matters.
How can I stop feeling resentful towards successful people?
Focus on understanding the root of your feelings. Often, resentment comes from comparing your own path to someone else's. Shifting your focus to your own goals and progress can help diminish these feelings.
What's the difference between inspiration and jealousy?
Inspiration often motivates you to pursue your own ambitions and learn from others' paths, while jealousy tends to bring feelings of bitterness, inadequacy, or a desire for someone else to lose what they have.

Have your own experience to share?

Share Your Story