I don't know if this even counts as a real problem... I mean, I have a job, a roof over my head, a husband who, I think, loves me. But I'm starting to feel like I'm hiding a whole other life from him, and it's getting harder to keep it all straight. It's mostly about shopping, I guess. Nothing big, just... little things. A new sketchbook I saw at the art supply store, a pottery class I signed up for when he was at his parents' place, a dress that just spoke to me, you know? Things I think would make me feel more like... me. The person I thought I'd be when I was sketching designs in my college dorm, not just another retail manager telling people to put things back on the hanger. And he's so good about money. REALLY good. Frugal, I suppose is the word. We have a shared account for everything, and he sees every single transaction. Which is good, I know. It's responsible. It’s what you do when you’re building a life together, not just chasing some fleeting inspiration. But I just... I can't bring myself to explain every little indulgence. Every time I get home from work, especially if I’ve had a bad day, and there’s a new bag in the passenger seat, I feel this knot in my stomach. So I just... shove it in the trunk. The back of the car is basically becoming a second closet, full of these little secrets. Sometimes I even forget what’s back there until I open it up for groceries or something. And then I have to quickly figure out how to sneak it in, or when to pretend I’ve "had it forever." I know it's stupid. I know it's probably going to blow up in my face eventually. My credit card balance is definitely not what he thinks it is. And I just feel so... ANGRY sometimes, at myself for doing it, at him for making me feel like I have to, at this whole situation where I just want to feel a little bit of joy without having to justify it. I wish I could just tell him I bought a new set of paints because it made me feel like the person I used to be, before all the bills and the responsibilities and the endless schedule. But I don't know how to explain that without sounding completely ungrateful for what we have. Or like I'm not pulling my weight. And honestly, I don't know if he would even understand. He just... he wouldn't get it.