okay so this is probably awful but... i'm a sahd right. stay at home dad. kids are finally older like middle school so it's not full on toddler chaos but still plenty to do. my wife works like CRAZY. absolutely kills herself. and she's super careful with money, always. we have this whole grocery budget thing she set up and it's TIGHT. like, "only buy the store brand pasta" tight. and i agree with it, mostly. i mean, we gotta save, future's not looking super clear with... everything. college costs are insane. my pension isn't what it used to be. you know. all that. but... i've been doing this thing. every day, after i drop the kids off, i go to the fancy deli down the street. it's stupid expensive. like, a sandwich and a fancy soda is like twenty bucks. sometimes more if i get a side. and i just... i get myself a really nice lunch. every single day. usually something with artisanal bread and really good cheese. and then i eat it in my car or sometimes at the park if the weather's nice. and then i come home and eat the "budget" lunch i made for myself, like, after. the one my wife thinks i ate for lunch. and no one knows. not the kids, definitely not my wife. she'd be LIVID. devastated, probably. it's just this one little thing that's mine. this one little splurge. i mean i don't even — whatever. am i the only one who does something like this? like a secret budget buster just for them? it's not even like i'm hurting us financially, not really. it's twenty bucks a day. i probably make it up by finding deals elsewhere, honestly. but it's the principle, right? the knowing. that i'm doing this little thing for me while everyone else is sticking to the plan. and sometimes i feel terrible about it. like, i'm betraying her trust. but then i get that sandwich, and it's just so GOOD. and i think about all the times i wanted something and couldn't have it, growing up. all the times my parents said no. and i'm like... yeah. i deserve this. it's stupid. it's just food. but it feels like more. anyone else ever feel this crazy conflict about something so small?