The motor is off, has been for an hour, maybe two, but I just sit here in the dark (the light is out, always forgets to replace it) and wonder if anyone else just… stops. Like, the inertial force is gone, the drive just… dissipates. I was always good at forward motion, at follow-through, even when things got… difficult, during that time overseas, the sheer effort required to just exist, it was immense, but you kept going. Now, though, with the tremor, the bradykinesia, the whole constellation of symptoms, I just… can’t. Is it just me? This anhedonia? Or is it just… exhaustion? It feels like a terminal condition itself, this apathy. It’s only a few steps to the back door, but my feet—they won’t move.