i just retired you know after almost forty years of being someone important a real big shot in my company and now it's just me and this empty house and all this time to think and it's driving me crazy because all i can think about is my parents i mean they're old now really old and they never really learned english well enough always relied on me even when i was a kid i was the one translating everything the doctor appointments the bills the parent teacher conferences everything and i hated it sometimes you know because i was just a kid and i wanted to play or hang out with my friends but i always did it always made sure they were okay and now it's even more you know because they need help with everything and my brothers and sisters they just live their lives they call sometimes say hi but they never ask about the details never offer to come to the social security office or help understand some complicated letter it's always me still after all these years and i'm tired so tired and i know i shouldn't say that but i am and i just want to stop being the one who always takes care of everything and everyone else but if i dont do it who will and i worry about what that makes me say something like that after everything they did for me coming here giving us a better life i just feel so awful for even thinking it but i just want to be done with it all and i dont know what to do because now that im retired i have even more time and it's just me and them all the time and my siblings they dont even call anymore to ask how things are going i dont know how much more i have in me