I’m just… sitting here, you know? Like, staring at this plate of lasagna I made for dinner and I physically can’t bring myself to eat it. My mom’s in bed, finally asleep after, like, an hour of calling my name because she thought it was morning again. And the kids are asleep too, thank god. My husband’s on some late call for work, probably won’t be home for another hour or two. So it’s just me, and this cold lasagna, and this really weird, empty feeling in my stomach that has nothing to do with being hungry. It’s like, I cooked it, I served it, I even made her take a few bites, but now it’s just… there. And I can’t. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Is it resentment? Guilt? Like, I know she can’t help it, right? It’s the dementia, it’s not *her*. But sometimes, when she asks me the same question for the fifteenth time in ten minutes, or she gets agitated because she thinks I’m her sister from fifty years ago, I just want to SCREAM. And then I feel like the absolute worst human being on the planet because she’s my mom, and she needs me, and this is what family does, you know? This is the deal. But I’m also supposed to be, like, excelling at my job, and being a perfect mom to actual small children who still need me to, like, wipe their butts, and a good wife, and I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in… I can’t even remember. I just want to disappear sometimes. Or just, like, have five minutes where no one is asking me for anything. No one. It’s this weird dissociation thing, I think. Like, I’m here, I’m doing the actions, I’m going through the motions – working, cooking, cleaning, refereeing toddler fights, giving Mom her meds – but it’s like my brain is just… watching it all happen from somewhere else. And I don’t know if that’s, like, a coping mechanism or if I’m actually, like, losing my mind. Is this what burnout feels like? Or am I just a bad daughter? A bad mom? I don’t even know what I’m asking for, really. Just… is this normal? This feeling of being completely hollowed out but also, like, perpetually failing everyone around you? Because that’s where I am right now. And this lasagna is still just sitting there.