I don't even know why I'm typing this out, it feels so stupid but also like, it's just buzzing in my head and I can't sleep, it's like 2 am already and I have to be up early for this stupid dog walking gig because Mrs. Henderson pays cash, which is good, but it's still just... a lot. And then I have school and then after school it's like, back home to Dad. Which is fine! He's my dad. And he can't, you know, do stuff. So I have to. And it's fine. Most of the time. But today was just. Ugh. So I was trying to finish this one drawing for a client, this dude who sells t-shirts online, and he's super picky, like he wants the lines to be PERFECT and I'm using my little old tablet, it's not even a good one, and it keeps like, lagging? And he's already messaged me twice asking for updates and I'm stressing because if I don't finish it then he won't pay me and then I won't have enough for the internet bill, probably, and then how am I gonna find more gigs, right? And then my dad started calling me from his room, like "Hoo-hoo! Can you get me a water?" and I'd just gotten him one like twenty minutes before, but he forgets, or whatever. And I was already feeling really tight, like my chest was all squished up. And then at school, during lunch, Sarah, who is usually really nice, right? But she was like, talking about this new thing she bought, this super expensive sweater, and she was going on and on about how she saved up for it and I just... snapped. I don't even know what came over me. I just said, really loud, "WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID SWEATER SARAH?!" And everyone at the table just got really quiet and looked at me. And her face just kinda crumpled and she looked like she was gonna cry. And I felt instantly AWFUL. Like, the worst. Because she didn't do anything wrong. And it's not even her fault my life is like this. And now she probably thinks I'm a total jerk. And I just wanted to disappear. It's just... I hate myself for it. I really do.