You know how sometimes you just… you have this feeling, and you know it's wrong, but it’s there every single day, every day, and it sits there, even when you're making tea and cutting up the fruit for her and putting on the same old records she used to like, and you just feel this… this SHAMEFUL joy that it’s nearly over, that the long goodbyes are finally, finally reaching their end, and you’ll get to be yourself again, whoever that is now without your students or your lesson plans or even the person you used to be with her. And you just hate yourself for it but you can’t make it go away.