Why do I cancel plans to avoid meeting new people?

Feeling the urge to cancel social plans, especially those involving new acquaintances, is a common experience. This often stems from a natural human inclination to protect ourselves from potential discomfort, judgment, or the energy expenditure of novel social interactions. It's a way our minds try to keep us feeling secure, even if it means missing out on potential connections.

Research suggests that a significant portion of individuals, sometimes estimated at over 30%, experience social anxiety that can lead to avoidance behaviors like canceling plans.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who cancels plans to avoid meeting new people?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone cancel plans to avoid meeting new people?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to cancel plans to avoid meeting new people?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to cancel plans because you don't want to meet new people?

Is It Weird?

Real stories from the community

We'd do video calls and stuff but I just couldn't handle, like, him actually being HERE. …

intimacy avoidance

i gotta get this out cuz it’s eating me alive and i cant tell anyone in real life not my bestie not even my little brother like this is TOO MUCH so like it started a few years ago when i met jake at… …

intimacy avoidance

i know this is gonna sound BAD but i only date guys who are like COMPLETELY unavailable and it's not even like an accident you know like i actually SEEK them out. …

intimacy avoidance

And everyone was all like, "Oh no, long distance, that’s so hard, you guys are so strong! …

intimacy avoidance

you know that feeling when your gut twists up real bad, like when you drop your phone and it hits the concrete but you haven't looked yet to see if the screen's cracked? …

intimacy avoidance

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to feel anxious about meeting new people?▾
Yes, it's very common to feel some level of anxiety when facing new social situations. Our brains are wired to be cautious around the unfamiliar, and meeting new people introduces many unknowns, which can trigger feelings of apprehension or nervousness.
What if I always cancel plans at the last minute?▾
Consistently canceling plans, especially at the last minute, can be a sign that you're struggling with underlying social discomfort or a strong preference for solitude. It might indicate a pattern of avoiding situations that feel challenging or overwhelming, even if you initially intended to go.
How can I make myself go to social events when I'd rather stay home?▾
Try starting with smaller commitments or events that have a clear end time. Focus on one or two brief interactions rather than feeling pressured to socialize extensively. Sometimes, just showing up for a short while can reduce the initial hurdle and make future social engagements feel less daunting.

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