Long-Distance Care Guilt: You're Not the Only One

I've been stuck in this interstitial state lately, this perpetual feeling of being slightly out of phase with my own life, and I genuinely can't articulate if it's situational anhedonia or some… …

And I’m just here, kinda stuck, watching these little updates trickle in. …

it’s 2 am and I’m supposed to be studying for this midterm on goddamn medieval literature or whatever the hell it is but all I can think about is my mom and like the kids and it’s just this constant… …

Someone’s mother, looking very frail. …

disquietude, watching my daughter with her little ones, running herself ragged in that sprawling suburbia, and then I think of my own mother, alone in that big house now, and it’s like a split, a… …

I’m just… wondering if anyone else has ever felt this particular kind of ache, this pre-grief almost, for someone who isn't gone yet but feels like they’re slipping away, and it’s just so hard to… …

And it’s like my mom is this tiny thing getting smaller and smaller in a rearview mirror and I can’t stop driving away and it makes me feel like THE WORST daughter ever, like I’m choosing and I… …

I missed the family "intervention" regarding my father's increasing cognitive decline, again. …

My husband, he's great, he really is, and being a military spouse, it’s a whole thing, you know? …

You know sometimes you just look at your kids, right, these amazing little people you made, and you know you’re supposed to be there for them every second, like that’s your whole deal now, but then… …

Fucking dementia. …

Been out here on this cross-country haul since Tuesday, left Shreveport right on schedule, 0400 on the dot after pre-tripping the rig. …

Anyone else ever feel like they’re just observing their own life and seeing all the points where things are going wrong and there’s nothing to do about it but just keep watching and I'm 19 and my dad… …

The anger just… bubbles. …