Sibling Care Resentment: You're Not the Only One

i swear to god i'm gonna lose my mind with this whole family thing. …

Like, graveyard shift. …

I’m just… tired. …

A quiet sort of sacrifice, maybe. …

It’s a familiar soundtrack to my life now, this low hum of anxiety that never quite goes away. …

I just… I can’t anymore. …

I dipped into the rainy day fund. …

you know sometimes you just look at your life after all these years and you wonder where all the time went like one minute you’re a young guy just starting out and then boom you’re staring at 60 and… …

’ It’s not a big deal, but there’s this weird, almost absurd sense of… *existential dread* mixed with a strange kind of familial performance, like I’m fulfilling some ancient cultural dictate while… …

This is probably stupid, and it's not a huge deal, but after spending ALL week coordinating the big family gathering, again, and realizing my siblings won't lift a finger, am I the only one who… …

I mean, my siblings pop in for a weekend, right, and it's all "Oh, poor Mama" and then they're gone and it’s just me and the endless loop and I just wonder if this is it, you know? …

The thing that really gets me, though, is the sheer, unadulterated SILENCE from my siblings. …

And there’s this… guilt. …

I just feel like such a jerk, cause like, my sib can't really do stuff and I work all night, doing DoorDash and whatever, and then I gotta get all the groceries and clean up after school, so I'm… …

I don’t know why I’m even writing this, it’s probably just because I can’t sleep and my brain won’t shut up, which it never does anymore, especially not since Mom got worse. …

I watch the clock on the microwave, 1:57 AM. …

I feel like such a messed-up person right now. …

It’s not a pleasant feeling, this emptiness, this sense of having lost my footing. …

It's not just the events themselves, it’s the lead-up, the constant mental load. …

It feels like I’m in a holding pattern, perpetually suspended, waiting for my actual life to start. …