Midlife Loneliness: You're Not the Only One

She lives, like, a thousand miles away, maybe more, and it’s just… a lot, every call is a new guilt trip disguised as a chore list. …

And I feel like a total LOSER. …

I moved to this city, like, six months ago for a new job, IT stuff, and every single weekend I just… don't do anything. …

You’re just… empty. …

I just turned 45, moved to this new city for the IT gig, decent pay for once, right? …

Retired last year. …

So now it’s just… quiet. …

I don't know if this really counts, but I still feel such a profound sense of… exclusion, I suppose, here. …

I’m a graphic designer, freelance, work from home, which sounds great on paper, right? …

I finally got that promotion, after all these years of scrambling to keep everything going... …

drift. …

Where you see something, and it just hits you square in the chest, and suddenly all the air just leaves your lungs and you’re just… frozen. …

You know that feeling when you just can't coordinate anymore, and it's not anyone's fault but you still feel this hot, angry flush every single time you see your friends posting about brunch and… …

My mom made me go to some online groups, like for D&D (cringe I know but it was a thing back home) and some parkour one which sounds cool but everyone else was like, ripped and knew each other… …

ok so im like freaking out rn and it’s 2am and i just ate cold pizza bc i cant even bring myself to cook anymore and i just realised something SUPER messed up about my life and im like wow this is it… …

I try, I really do, I smile and I make small talk and I offer to help with things, but it's like I'm invisible, or I'm just not… connecting, and I feel so much like an outsider, and it's really… …

Because right now I just feel like a weird, disconnected ghost haunting the sidelines of everyone else's vibrant social life. …

A business, a family. …

i see these middle school parents still doing the whole friend group thing and yeah i know what it is... …

They’re all discussing plans, full of a vibrancy I recall, a camaraderie I once knew, but now I’m an external observer, a sort of peripheral specter. …